Awesome. Great to hear it, Pamela! Wondering if news of the improvement and its possible connection to your having written about it would make for a new post...IF there are any connections to be had. (???). Take care. And thanks for your Stack.
Me too. Not with hip pain, but other longstanding issues that make me go, "WTF is this really about?" And maybe it's for the better, or maybe it's not, but seriously..."
Hey Brian, nice to hear from you. It’s a universal principle and I can think of many more examples- it’s just that pain really helps to make the point as most people would agree that pain is “bad”. Thanks for sharing that you’re experiencing this too.
Hello Pamela, This speaks to me—thank you for articulating something I’ve lived but don’t often hear named with such clarity. “Maybe so, maybe not” feels especially true in the realm of long-term caregiving, where what looks like misfortune from the outside can carry unexpected meaning or grace—and what looks like stability can vanish overnight.
So much of my life has been shaped by things I wouldn’t have chosen: medical complexity, bureaucratic mazes, deep exhaustion. And yet, these same things have refined my attention, expanded my capacity to love, and sharpened my sense of what matters. Not always neatly, not without cost—but undeniably.
Your reminder to loosen our grip on certainty, not to rise above but simply to remain intact, resonates. It’s not about pretending things are good or bad—it’s about staying present with the unfolding.
Grateful to have found your liberating work. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while.
Welcome, Prajna! Thank you for your warm comment. “Staying present with the unfolding” is a lovely way to put it. Easier said than done, of course, but I think it helps prevent unnecessary suffering caused by adding resistance to the mix. Misfortune, difficulties, challenges they all seem to carry unexpected gifts if we can find the grace to harvest them. The people I know who seem to have had an easy life never had to go deep and just seem to skim the surface. I no longer envy them. I appreciate your taking the time to connect and look forward to getting to know you here.
Yes me too. Wonderful response. In my experience resistance, also plays an important role in learning to kneel, crawl, and stand up again stronger because we received a good dose of fierce beauty,
I’m so happy to find you. I just wrote a similar reflection with Rumi leading. 💕
I’m feeling this. 3 days ago my car started acting up. It’s 8 years old and has over 170,000 miles on it (we live in Texas, everything is far away) and Hubby and I had been mulling the idea of getting a new vehicle before our upcoming 2 week driving excursion. The car acting up nailed it, so now I have a beautiful new Subaru Outback for my trip. I looked at the car acting up as a blessing, that it happened before the trip. Yesterday my 82 year old mother was in her 1st ever car accident. She is ok, but I’m pretty sure the car is totaled. She lives at a retirement community in the assisted living section, so she doesn’t really need her car, they can provide rides if she needs to go somewhere. I see this accident also as a blessing. I won’t have to worry about her while I’m gone and….it’s a big and…I have been slowly trying to get her to release the car as she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and really shouldn’t be driving, but she’s been very resistant to the idea, maybe this incident will help, especially if she doesn’t get her car back. So 2 seemingly “bad” things turned out to be blessings. Yes, I still have my chronic knee pain I’ve been working with for 3 years, done tons of shadow/ancestral work, and it is much better than when it first started, but, it has also made me slow down, be more aware of my surroundings and pinpoint what I want to actually spend my energy on, as it takes me longer to do things. I’ve been able to release a lot of things that I thought were “important “, which also leads to having more energy for what is. Blessings.
Blessings Shannon! Thank you for sharing this. When you start thinking this way it’s easier to see how car troubles can be beneficial to the big picture. How wonderful that it didn’t happen during your excursion and that 🤞 your mom may be safer as a passenger than driver without you having to make a fuss. It can be harder to see the upside to pain, but it looks like you’re exploring new pathways and reevaluating goals and values as a result. Imagine the implications of this down the line! I think my limited mobility has a lot to do with an unconscious desire to slow down. I wonder if we could really commit to that if the pains would become obsolete and dissipate? If my body trusted me to stay slow, continue to rest, say NO to a bunch of things, would she put aside the messenger of pain? 🤔
Well, that’s the key, if my body trusted me to stay slow. I haven’t proved that I would, because those days that I do feel better, I cram as much as I can, but of course pay for it the next day. Thanks for prompt. It is a learning for sure!
What a WISE approach with your hip pain. Very insightful. Good luck and please keep us updated.
Aw, thank you Katherine! Curiously, since this “confession” of sorts, it’s improved. 🤔
Awesome. Great to hear it, Pamela! Wondering if news of the improvement and its possible connection to your having written about it would make for a new post...IF there are any connections to be had. (???). Take care. And thanks for your Stack.
I’m wondering the same thing! Will see what I’m guided to share for next week and if this is just a blip.
Me too. Not with hip pain, but other longstanding issues that make me go, "WTF is this really about?" And maybe it's for the better, or maybe it's not, but seriously..."
Hey Brian, nice to hear from you. It’s a universal principle and I can think of many more examples- it’s just that pain really helps to make the point as most people would agree that pain is “bad”. Thanks for sharing that you’re experiencing this too.
Hello Pamela, This speaks to me—thank you for articulating something I’ve lived but don’t often hear named with such clarity. “Maybe so, maybe not” feels especially true in the realm of long-term caregiving, where what looks like misfortune from the outside can carry unexpected meaning or grace—and what looks like stability can vanish overnight.
So much of my life has been shaped by things I wouldn’t have chosen: medical complexity, bureaucratic mazes, deep exhaustion. And yet, these same things have refined my attention, expanded my capacity to love, and sharpened my sense of what matters. Not always neatly, not without cost—but undeniably.
Your reminder to loosen our grip on certainty, not to rise above but simply to remain intact, resonates. It’s not about pretending things are good or bad—it’s about staying present with the unfolding.
Grateful to have found your liberating work. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while.
Welcome, Prajna! Thank you for your warm comment. “Staying present with the unfolding” is a lovely way to put it. Easier said than done, of course, but I think it helps prevent unnecessary suffering caused by adding resistance to the mix. Misfortune, difficulties, challenges they all seem to carry unexpected gifts if we can find the grace to harvest them. The people I know who seem to have had an easy life never had to go deep and just seem to skim the surface. I no longer envy them. I appreciate your taking the time to connect and look forward to getting to know you here.
Yes me too. Wonderful response. In my experience resistance, also plays an important role in learning to kneel, crawl, and stand up again stronger because we received a good dose of fierce beauty,
I’m so happy to find you. I just wrote a similar reflection with Rumi leading. 💕
Beautiful!
I’m feeling this. 3 days ago my car started acting up. It’s 8 years old and has over 170,000 miles on it (we live in Texas, everything is far away) and Hubby and I had been mulling the idea of getting a new vehicle before our upcoming 2 week driving excursion. The car acting up nailed it, so now I have a beautiful new Subaru Outback for my trip. I looked at the car acting up as a blessing, that it happened before the trip. Yesterday my 82 year old mother was in her 1st ever car accident. She is ok, but I’m pretty sure the car is totaled. She lives at a retirement community in the assisted living section, so she doesn’t really need her car, they can provide rides if she needs to go somewhere. I see this accident also as a blessing. I won’t have to worry about her while I’m gone and….it’s a big and…I have been slowly trying to get her to release the car as she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and really shouldn’t be driving, but she’s been very resistant to the idea, maybe this incident will help, especially if she doesn’t get her car back. So 2 seemingly “bad” things turned out to be blessings. Yes, I still have my chronic knee pain I’ve been working with for 3 years, done tons of shadow/ancestral work, and it is much better than when it first started, but, it has also made me slow down, be more aware of my surroundings and pinpoint what I want to actually spend my energy on, as it takes me longer to do things. I’ve been able to release a lot of things that I thought were “important “, which also leads to having more energy for what is. Blessings.
Blessings Shannon! Thank you for sharing this. When you start thinking this way it’s easier to see how car troubles can be beneficial to the big picture. How wonderful that it didn’t happen during your excursion and that 🤞 your mom may be safer as a passenger than driver without you having to make a fuss. It can be harder to see the upside to pain, but it looks like you’re exploring new pathways and reevaluating goals and values as a result. Imagine the implications of this down the line! I think my limited mobility has a lot to do with an unconscious desire to slow down. I wonder if we could really commit to that if the pains would become obsolete and dissipate? If my body trusted me to stay slow, continue to rest, say NO to a bunch of things, would she put aside the messenger of pain? 🤔
Well, that’s the key, if my body trusted me to stay slow. I haven’t proved that I would, because those days that I do feel better, I cram as much as I can, but of course pay for it the next day. Thanks for prompt. It is a learning for sure!
This is my current theory. I’d love for you to prove me right!