Trust Yourself!

You’re the only expert on you.

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I’ve fallen into a bit of a trap lately of following external guidance without listening to my body. While I know better, it’s tempting to believe that so-called experts have the answers I’ve been seeking.

In my pursuit of easing the hormonal transition of perimenopause, I went down a rabbit hole. There I found eating and exercise guidelines designed specifically for women with declining estrogen.

Perfect, right?

Not exactly. I found myself overeating to get in the proper amount of protein and fiber. Sure, these are important elements of any diet, but cramming in an unnecessary meal seems like a bad long-term strategy.

A lot of the recommendations are based on dairy, whole grains and soy, which I know my body don’t suit me. I do well on a Mediterranean-paleo hybrid, which I discovered by years of trial and error and paying attention to… ME!

I found paleo while searching for recipes that are without dairy, gluten and sugar. While I don’t agree with the entire philosophy and I’m not entirely sure what my ancestors ate and whether or not that’s a valid reason to plan meals, I was able to adapt it and enjoy anti-inflammatory benefits.

I figured this all out by myself by tuning in to my own needs and adjusting accordingly. If I followed the “experts”, I’d be missing the mark, my own unique mark, based on my own unique needs.

The meno-plan also calls for moderate exercise. Great. At a specific heart rate. I rebelled against this math immediately! Moderate exercise feels good and it makes sense to me to get the blood pumping without pushing too hard. But calculating optimal heart rate and attempting to monitor it instead of paying attention to my body is just not appealing.

Experimentation has taught me that rebounding works wonders for me. I can dance vigorously, moving my body through all sorts of ranges, with minimal impact, in my living room, for free. I bump the activity level up or down depending on how I feel and how my body is responding to the music and the moment.

Experts say yoga is great. It sure can be, but vinyasa is not my friend. I need a slower pace to move mindfully and assure good alignment. And oftentimes yin poses are held too long, and I end up aggravating vulnerable joints. Restorative and the “bedtime” style sequences are just right for me.

Last year I signed up for a consultation with a CPA. The city was offering free support for small businesses. This woman liberally interpreted the tax code in a way that contradicted the IRS. I am interested in lowering my tax payments, but not breaking the law. Um… no, thanks!

My mechanic says I’ll need new tires before winter. He was kind enough to print out an estimate for me. $900. That seems reasonable. But my car is 18 years old, I can see no reason to invest in tires with a six-year lifespan when the vehicle likely won’t last more than two or three. I am not ignoring this suggestion, but I’m pretty sure tires can be found for a better price and will likely suffice until this car takes its last trip.

Other experts point out that driving an older car costs as much as a new car. That seems to be true! But keeping this chariot running appeases my conscience by reusing and reducing rather than consuming. And I’d rather pay the mechanic than the bank. Since status is not my goal, my way is much better for… ME!

My hair stylist (oh! I chopped off half my hair yesterday!) suggested changing to a silk-covered elastic band for ponytails as my hair breaks more easily than it used to. Sounds good, I can do that.

She went on the say Amazon, of course, will be able to supply that. Tomorrow. Sure, that would be easy, but I’d much rather support a small business in my neighborhood than the richest man on the planet, and save a cardboard box from the waste stream. Let’s face it, recycling is not the magical fairy dust solution we are led to believe.

I could keep going, but I think I’ve made my point. I’m not at all suggesting that you do things my way. Maybe you find it beneficial to track your macros with an app and measure your heart rate in BodyPump class. It probably makes sense for most people to buy the new tires. I’m not the expert on you!

YOU ARE!

The more embodied we are, the more connected with our north star, the more time we spend cultivating a connection with our souls, the more we can learn to trust ourselves.

Sure, we can still seek information from the so-called experts. Then we run it through our systems and tweak it to fit. I’m still increasing my protein and time spent exercising. I’m shopping for used tires. But I’m not blindly following the advice that came from an external source when it doesn’t fit.

Most of us have not been taught to listen to our bodies or our inner voices. Quite the opposite, in fact! There’s a strong cultural conditioning to follow doctor’s orders, do as the teacher and priest say, and to believe the collective narrative of what it means to live a good life while looking fabulous and never letting them see you sweat.

I’m here to encourage you to QUESTION EVERYTHING! Sit with ideas, new and old, in contemplation and try them on for size. Modify as necessary and set aside everything that doesn’t fit.

However, this only works when the ego-mind is not in charge. It has other agendas such as proving your tenth-grade nemesis wrong, making your ex regret leaving, or being top dog at work. Putting the soul in charge assures that the agenda will include alignment with your values, being kind, pursuing your life-purpose, and maximizing your well-being and that of everyone else too.

You can learn to listen to the soft voice within if you want. Taking a break from all the input of the world is a great first step! Sitting quietly and becoming present is also key. Spending time in nature (without chatting on the phone, listening to a podcast or moving at breakneck speed) is invaluable.

It doesn’t matter where you start, just that you do. And today is a great day for moving forward.

Paid subscribers have access to this head/heart/gut practice for accessing inner wisdom through portals in the body that I recorded for the full moon. Technical issues caused me to need to record it three times (yay technology!) plus I listened afterwards to make sure there were no glaring errors. I notice a big difference after this condensed period of practice. Just like learning a new language or an instrument, repetition helps. Give it a try!