Roadblocks

what if they’re sometimes in our best interest?

So you’re going about, minding your own business, and you meet an unexpected obstacle. What to do?

There are often a variety of options, but I find that I generally resort to my default mode: you can’t stop me! Followed by a full-force attack. I’m laughing at the imagine of me going after this tree with an axe. That absolutely would have destroyed the progress I’ve been making on my menopausal frozen shoulder rehab. But that’s the thing about conditioned responses, isn’t it? We don’t stop to consider the consequences because we’re on auto pilot.

In the past, I’ve often exerted huge amounts of time and effort to push on through without first clarifying that this was the best course of action. Or if the rewards of doing so were even worth the effort. Sigh.

Another popular response is to give up, turn around, and return to the starting point. This might be accompanied by a story like: the world is always out to get me or I can’t do anything right.

Been there, done that!

This time I tried something different. I weighed the costs and benefits. Sure, I wanted to continue my hike all the way down to the creek, but it wasn’t worth hurting myself. I surveyed the surrounding area and found that since it wasn’t muddy or icy and the path wasn’t about to crumble down the hill, it was doable. I even had the foresight to consider that I would also need to pass through here again on my way home and decided that would also be manageable.

I’m not great at crouching these days, but I did manage to duck- walk under the first trunk and straddle/hug over the second. Luckily no one was watching!

A few days later, a crew removed the tree trunks and there was only a sprinkling of sawdust to commemorate nature’s roadblock. It was like it had never even been there.

That got me thinking about the obstacles that are simply impassable. Those that can’t be climbed over/under or dismantled, that interrupt momentum, and need outside assistance or passing time to overcome.

And those are the roadblocks that I find to be most intriguing. I’ve come to recognize that contrary to New Age belief, we cannot have anything we want just by believing it. Not everything is available to be had. Not always. I can’t be an oak tree or a ballerina. The obstacles I meet in my endeavors are often there FOR me. To herd me in the right direction and point me towards my purpose.

When I’m all caught up in desire, it’s easy to forget that the universe is supporting me and that if I don’t get that thing that I want, it isn’t mine to have.

Or it isn’t time yet.

Oof.

That’s my favorite roadblock. The kind where you know this is your direction and you’re eventually going through here, but just not yet. You set up camp, make yourself comfortable, and go on about your business while you wait for the block to shift.

That shift could look a trail crew showing up with a chainsaw. Or a rope swing or climbing gear to safely traverse the cliffs. Or it could just be the passage of time while the wood rots and settles and becomes less of an obstacle. Or the daily workouts provide agility and stamina to climb what had once been impossible. Or… who knows?!

I’m in such an obstacle myself. For the past two years, my business has been mostly stagnant. It was rare for a new client to turn up and a few of my regulars had drifted away for the normal reasons people do- moving to another city, having babies, or changing jobs.

The combination meant less and less work for me. None of my strategies yielded any results. In fact, they seemed to make it worse. Eventually, I decided to just settle in. Enjoy the downtime. Savor the slow mornings and free time.

I got so good at doing that, I forgot that I was at an impasse, waiting by this fallen log, ready to expand my business, or at least my revenue.

Until one day, things “mysteriously” shifted. I say “mysterious” because I’m well aware that there is a reason, even if I can’t pinpoint it. Something changed, maybe in myself, my work ethic, my capacity for giving and holding space, in the stars, or all of it. And now, business is flowing once again, through no effort on my part!

It’s so easy to see that once was frustrating and problematic was exactly the experience that I needed to have. It was part of my evolution, my growth, my training for whatever comes next.

I needed that time to build trust in Life, to remember that I’m always taken care of and have what I need. I needed that time to really figure out what my unique needs are and how to go about meeting them in ways that align with my values. I needed that time to build an unflappable morning routine and how to make a quick omelette without a mess and the best time to hike to avoid the reckless mountain bikers. I needed to get clear about who I am and where I want to go.

Because when the shift happened, and business “mysteriously” increased, I needed to know how to maintain my joyful and healthful lifestyle while putting in more time at the office. I needed to be intimately connected to my values and goals so that I can make important decisions with ease and protect the boundaries that make it all possible.

I needed that time-out to get my ducks lined up, my systems in place, and my health in full bloom. I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s been happening behind the scenes for 2+ years! I could have spent those months bemoaning that things weren’t the way I wanted them to be and that I wasn’t getting the results I wanted.

Instead, I got what I needed. Fortunately, I made good use of that time and now it’s serving me well. Looking back, I might say that everything worked in exactly the right way to put me here, now, ready to carry on with my assignment.

So the next time you’re going on about your life and meet an unexpected obstacle, could you entertain the possibility that it might be working in your best interest? A little bit of willingness goes a long way!

I’m not saying that all delays are beneficial- sometimes a traffic jam is just a product of poor urban planning. And sometimes a traffic jam is a call to reconfigure your route home. And sometimes, a traffic jam just might be an opportunity to sing in your car and look at some pretty clouds.

And sometimes it might just be a miraculous experience that will prepare you for a bounty you never knew existed.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end. What have you learned from obstacles in your life? How do you know when it’s time to move on?