I Love My Life!

even when it’s messy and uncomfortable

I’m reminded of the saying, “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.” It’s been like that here in Philly lately. Within one 36 hour period I both regretted packing away my electric blanket and contemplated turning on the AC.

Emotions are a lot like the weather. They come and they go, mostly they’re harmless if I use some common sense.

My emotional weather has been much the same. Up and down. After a Feldenkrais class I shared that waves of sadness appeared out of nowhere. The facilitator asked if I was ok, clearly worried about me. It’s just a feeling, it will pass, I replied.

Is it tough to read that? It can be so uncomfortable when someone is sad. There’s often a surge of energy to do something, say something, anything really to make it better. (Hint: that’s a version of a fight response.) Or to skedaddle (flight).

But feelings don’t need to be fixed and they needn’t be avoided, although it can sure help to grow your capacity to be with discomfort if you’d like to try the alternative.

Feeling.

It’s not for the faint of heart! But the rewards are a greater capacity to also experience comfort, pleasure, and joy… so I’ll give it two thumbs up in the long run category.

Behind it all, though, is a steady theme, a consistent backdrop of loving my life. Even the ups and downs.

I love my love.

Some days the words just land in my heart and activate all the warm fuzzies. I spend some time soaking in the glow of all that is going well, all the ways I’ve escaped the rat race and make choices that align with my needs and values.

Other days, the contrast of all the things that aren’t working really gets highlighted. It becomes something like, “I kinda love parts of my life, but…”

This is also valuable. I’ve exposed inconsistencies in my world that could be corrected for greater peace, joy, love, and freedom.

Some of these inconsistencies are things I can change. Some of them, not so much. But I can change how I relate to them. Or I can start making steps in that direction. I can abso-freaking-lutely choose where I place my attention. I can remind myself that I believe in and trust in a higher power that is directing it all and operating according to some master plan, to which I am not usually privy.

Here’s where it gets juicy. If I’m really clear and honest, I can find inconsistencies within myself. And these are 100% within my influence.

Things like: don’t love your life too much- it will upset everyone else who’s struggling. There are countless variations on this, and I suspect we all have a few of them hiding in the shadowy corners of our minds.

How about: it’s not fair to love your life when others are suffering? Or even: how dare you love your life? Who do you think you are? 😬

I could go on, but it’s so tedious that I won’t.

These are protector parts that want me to fit in because that’s how I was conditioned. I learned that lesson well. Keep your head down. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t laugh too loud or be too colorful.

Blend in.

That might have been important for my ancestors and in the middle school shark tank, but enough is enough. Just like I’m willing to admit that I’m feeling down without believing I need to take care of your emotional response to my sadness, I’m willing to go even further out on this limb and admit that overall, most of the time, I really do love my life.

It’s not because I have a trust fund or live in a big house or take fancy vacations. Not at all. I love my life because I’ve learned to love what I have rather than perpetually chasing after the shiny things I don’t.

So when there’s a four planet pileup that hits my chart in a big way, I look for the golden opportunities to be harvested. When I’m escorted into the Underworld, I take a deep breath and face the inner demons, trusting that I will come home with buried treasure.

I’ve come to appreciate the hand I’ve been dealt and get creative whenever possible. Would it be nice to have matching furniture? Probably. But I’ve made peace with my hand-me-downs and dragged-in-from-the-curb decor. I’m cool with my ancient 24” TV and have no interest in upgrading. I enjoy the challenge of thrift store shopping and making stew that’s tasty enough to eat leftovers for days.

I manage quite well spending only $20/month for music and TV subscriptions combined and rarely eat out. I have a budget that I mostly stick to (excepting spontaneous car purchases 😆) and I’m pretty darn frugal.

I’ve learned that money and things, status and the illusion of security, beauty and youth, fame and fortune are not the answer for me.

What I especially love about my life is the time I have to enjoy the simple things. A cup of tea and a good book. Making my nephew laugh with a dumb joke. Sitting by the creek. The more enjoyment I can derive and absorb from these pleasures, the easier it is to enjoy every moment.

And what is a life but a series of moments strung together?

So what I’m really saying is I love my life because I bring more awareness to each and every moment, relishing the blessings that have come to me. While also scrutinizing all the beliefs that I don’t have what I want or shouldn’t want what I have.

You know the saying, when life brings you lemons, make lemonade? I’ll take it a step further. Embrace lemonade. Rather than facing it with heroic fortitude, could you possibly conjure up some authentic appreciation? Yay! More lemonade! It will be just the right treat for my hike on a warm day. I’m so lucky to have all these lemons! Get out the fancy glasses and savor it, add garnish, maybe a splash of fizzy water or a sprig of fresh mint.

Loving lemonade is more than accepting what you have and making the best of it, but also choosing to go all-in, trusting that it’s what you’re meant to have and that in the big scheme of things, there’s a reason for all of it. You can always pray to learn to love what you have if you’re having a tough time getting there on your own.

Here’s a sweet little song that sums up my primary strategy for loving life.

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