Freedom Redefined

I’m still finding my groove after taking a week off and a trip to NYC. I had a good time and enjoyed exploring pockets of art and nature tucked away in the big city. But it took a lot of energy to maintain my sense of self and center amidst the chaos and it’s now taking me time to recalibrate.

I’m processing and integrating slowly. Not because it was a bad experience, but because it was a BIG experience and doesn’t fit neatly into a box. Let’s call it a learning opportunity- they are generally challenging, but productive.

Pictured here, we have a very cool sculpture, a blossom bigger than my head, murals, a gorgeous old church with stained glass windows, a glimpse of the flower district, and a giant pigeon (click to see the whole bird). If you’re not familiar with the HighLine, it’s my number one recommendation for visitors- a way to travel above the streets of Chelsea, and the route I used whenever possible.

And here you can see my new friend, a fire quartz. I stumbled upon a witchy bookstore and this gem just jumped out at me. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as fire quartz! And it just so happens to have the exact kind of energy that supports my mission. I wasn’t looking for a new crystal- this one found me just at the time I needed it most.

But this post isn’t about New York, the destination. It’s about the awareness that bubbled up while I was in the great melting pot. There was something about seeing the limitless possibilities on hand and how having access to an amazing array of choices didn’t lead to feeling free.

A lot of emotional stuff came up for me, with a hint of existential befuddlement, all whilst doing my best to keep my center in the energetic tornado found in any metropolis. I’m still sorting out my thoughts and unsure how to write about it. There is a LOT of material here, but for now, it’s a big messy ball of yarn.

Rather than attempting to untangle all my thoughts and feelings here in this article, I’m choosing to take one of the loose strands. I’ll pull on the end and see where it takes us.

My little adventure coincided with an astrological event, sun conjunct Uranus, that was much more potent for me than anticipated. You can look up Uranus cazimi 2025 if you’re curious, but for the purposes of this article, let’s just say there was an expansion of archetypal Uranian energy, which feels like freedom to me.

NYC is linked with freedom in my mind as that’s where I attended college, breaking out of small town life with constant supervision to experience anonymity for the first time in my life.

Freedom from parental oversight. Freedom to eat pizza for lunch every day, to go out super late, to drink and smoke and explore the variety of everything that was constantly on display.

Curiously, I’m not interested in those freedoms any more. They were a springboard of sorts, getting the journey started at the necessary starting point.

What became evident last week was the evolution of what freedom means in my life.

It’s come to mean the freedom to be myself.

To follow my heart’s desires.

To move slowly, intentionally, steadily in the direction I want to go.

To know my desires, apart from the conditioning, programming, advertising, and peer pressure, and be willing to step away from the status quo.

Freedom to express myself, without needing to try to fit in when clearly I do not, without needing to edit myself to make others feel comfortable.

Freedom to be healthy, vibrant, radiant, and whole despite a lot of efforts to convince me I’m not.

Freedom from the allopathic medical industry and consumerism, as well as chasing status, dopamine, and distraction.

Freedom to inhabit my body, investigate my beliefs, feel my emotions, and follow my soul’s guidance.

Freedom to question everything and examine all the invisible motivations that drive behavior- mine and other people’s.

Freedom to disrupt the patterns that keep me stuck and to heal them at the root rather than just chasing symptoms.

Freedom to drop the hustle and step into magnetism, calling my desires to me rather than chasing after them with heroic effort.

And here’s the growing edge: freedom to share about my co-creative life. It’s not easy to put yourself out there when you’re building a dream based on ease, comfort, pleasure, joy, and flow.

It tends to ruffle feathers! There’s the crowd who argues about all the limitations that prevent them from doing the same, that it’s impossible to claim freedom because of work, health problems, debt or family obligations.

But I’m not saying you should be doing what I’m doing. That’s absurd! This is my path, designed for my soul’s evolution. I don’t suggest you follow my footsteps; rather that you listen to the voice within and discover your path. Even if it seems crazy or impossible.

Your yearnings will point you in the right direction. Your body will provide constant feedback about the alignment of your decisions. Your soul will offer guidance. Your particular strengths, weaknesses, wounds, and constitution all factor in to mapping your own unique path.

All of that to say, freedom is subjective in many ways. Yours won’t look like mine. My only goal here is to share that what might seem crazy or impossible will unfold before you if it truly is your path.

Thirty years ago I would have thought that it was impossible to break out of the rat race, work in ways I find meaningful and fulfilling, and do so without sacrificing my self-care, self-respect, or self-worth. But a gazillion steps (many of them uncomfortable and against the grain of society) in that direction has led me here.

And I’m ready to keep on going, despite veering more and more off the highways onto the back roads and occasionally needing a machete to clear the way of overgrown weeds.

This freedom is deeper and wider, higher and more expansive than I ever imagined. True, it’s not always easy going, but neither is a life of self-sacrifice and abandonment.

So, here I am, being myself in the wonderful, messy, sometimes incoherent and typo-making way that only I can be. To me, that feels like freedom, and I’m all-in.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

―Oscar Wilde

This is a reader supported (vs. advertisement supported) publication. If you liked this article, consider subscribing. You can also show support by liking, commenting, sharing, or hitting the “Buy Me a Coffee” button to make a small donation. Every engagement helps to keep the creative wheels turning.